Mo Kim

For Valentine’s Day, I’d like to do something different – because today’s outfit isn’t about a theme. It’s about a person.

I first met Jason at a hole-in-the-wall Korean place, where we sipped bori-cha, gingerly offered each other bites of japchae and soondubu, and exchanged brief snippets of our career and life histories. I had just gotten out of a relationship three weeks prior, so I was trying to take things slow: I wanted to focus on enjoying new friendships and human connections, not rushing right into a new romance. But something about his presence – the way he leaned in as I spoke, the hesitation in his voice as he chose to share, and the slight smile on his lips – made me feel immediately at ease, like I was meeting somebody I had somehow known my whole life.

Eleven months later, it still feels that way – like we’re two shades of sunlight bleeding into one sky. This is what happens when you love someone: they slowly color your view of the world. His quirks have become mine, and vice versa. He picks out all of his raw vegetables at dinner; I eat them for him. I’ve lost some of my spice tolerance after months of sticking with mild foods; he’s picked some of mine up. We duet to K-pop in the car. Our stuffed animals have names and backstories now. It shouldn’t make any sense; it’s the only way things make sense.

So today, I’m dressing like my boyfriend – just one more way to express the impact he’s had on my life. And if you don’t believe me, here’s a garment-by-garment breakdown to prove it:

Fleece jacket: Jason has embraced all of me with warmth and understanding; as we’ve gotten to know each other better and better, I find myself feeling safer and safer being my full self around him, no matter how goofy or juvenile. That’s why I chose this jacket: it comforts me in the same way he does, every single day of our relationship.

Oxford shirt: Something we talk about a lot is our experience navigating “professional” norms in our work: Jason has a little more experience with wealthy people than I do, having navigated philanthropic and financial spaces, whereas I tend to feel more comfortable working directly with the students and clients I serve. But over the last year, we’ve both found ourselves stretching to meet each other – because we’ve had to show up for each other, whether at my company’s fundraising gala or his company’s holiday party. This Oxford shirt feels like where our two work environments meet: casual enough for the classroom, formal enough for the office.

Chino pants: For all that he’s accomplished, Jason is also remarkably down-to-earth: once you talk to him, you realize what a genuine and generous personality he has. Although he’s not afraid to be assertive and direct when the occasion calls, he also treats others with an open-minded, accepting attitude that I respect. Like these chinos, he is sturdy, reliable, built for any occasion.

Running shoes: But what I love most about Jason is how he makes every day feel like an adventure. It doesn’t matter where we are. Whether we’re trekking through Alaska, walking to the local diner, or window shopping at the mall, life is twice as fun with him by my side. I’ve had to navigate most of my life alone – it’s amazing to find a partner whose pace and rhythm matches mine in so many ways. And I can’t wait to see where else life takes us…and to walk through each day with him.

Happy Valentine’s Day, boo. I love you so much.

Coming tomorrow: I desperately tear through my closet, hoping that I own at least a few things in pastel colors…